GROWING UP WITH ADHD: THE MIDDLE YEARS
she would like to take
on in the project.
Ali’s mom understands the unspoken
social dynamics in
play—children meet in
large groups, and assumptions are made
about Ali and what she might be able to
do on the project. Ali is left out of the
decision-making because she doesn’t
speak up. Ali and her mom discuss the
personalities within the group, their
likes and dislikes, and so on. Ali puts
together a social database about her
partners in the group project, so she can
talk more comfortably with her peers.
Ali does better socially when she has
a plan. She and her mom look at the project rubric and discuss which components
seem interesting and manageable to Ali,
and decide what Ali would like to take
on. They rehearse possible scenarios.
learning how to ask
helps Ali build the confidence to speak up
during the group’s
With all the prep at
home, Ali slowly overcomes her social
struggles and plays an important part in
the group. And she has a plan she can
use for the next group project.
My son has lots of virtual
friends, but how do I
encourage him to develop
friends he can talk with
one on one?
Connecting to other people, adapting to
their needs, and engaging in the give-and-take of friendship are important
skills all kids need to learn.
>Let him have virtual friends.;
Facebook friends and Twitter buddies
may be your son’s only friends right now,
and you don’t want him to lose them.
> Talk to him about why he needs
other friends.; Ask your child what he
likes about the virtual world. Find another activity that he may like—a course
in robotics or computer coding—in
which he will interact with people.
> Work on social strategies.; Whether
it’s engaging in chitchat, turning an
acquaintance into a friend, or arranging
to see people outside of school, it is
essential that your son knows how to
approach people. With consistent practice, he will get what you and every child
wants: good friends. A
CAROLINE MAGUIRE, PCC, M.ED., is a personal
coach who works with children with ADHD and
the families who support them. She runs a private
coaching practice, New England Coaching Services. You can reach Caroline at necoaching.com.
child to go to
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